The race for race in the 'white' house!

That was a close call, but we did it! We finally have a half white president. We have suffered for centuries being the subject of derision, but we overcame. Most said it was impossible, the whole world over thought we where doomed to the abyss of racial subjugation, but no longer. We showed the world once and for all that not only will we elect a white guy, but we will also elect half white guys. Brothers and sisters, let us not forget that our struggle is far from won. Even now the media seeks to take away our victory by saying an "African American" won the election, but we know the truth, and the truth will prevail.

I know I personally didn't do shit.. nor did any other half white people I know, but one of us did and that is what matters. We will bask in his glory like it where our own, and walk through the next four years with an undeserved sense of satisfaction for having finally showed all the white and black elitists that we will overcome, and that you cannot destroy our will as a people. We are the future of this blah blah I am making all this shit up!

The truth is I voted for Obama's white side. I feel his white side ran a better campaign, while his black side just looked good in a suit. There it is. Am I racist...? Hell no. I mean, well, sometimes I might have a racist opinion when it comes to eating out at fancy restaurants and our fucking waitor happens to be Norwegian, but that is only because Norwegians are notorious for fucking with people's food. It's not that they're inherently bad people, just that they are born with poor self esteem and doing that kind of shit, they think, garners respect.

Anywho, Obama's white side was clearly a better choice than McCain. Through miscegenation, Obama inherited superior qualities from both races such as water proof hair and oratory skills, while McCain just represents that old boorish white guy thing which is just awful. And one final note regarding McCain: I am all for equal opportunity employment, except when it comes to employing retarded people to run the country. Palin is retarded - if McCain where to have employed her to sort thumbtacks for the white house he would have earned some more points across the board. But he didn't and he lost. Alright, seriously, one more thing about McCain: A lot of people regarded McCain's POW experience to be great for his campaign, but I saw the opposite. Anyone who undergoes torture on a regular schedule for five years is no longer fit to run for president. There are guys in Iraq right now that haven't even been shot at, much less left their tents, coming home with post traumatic stress blah blah blah, while McCain had electric ball shocking for breakfast every morning. Whatever, you do the math.

Because I am American and watch entirely too much TV I have no attention span. That means, in short, that I am already thinking about the next election. In the next election, I hope to see a half gay guy elected to office because I am already bored of this half black, half white thing. Plus, we need some more great anecdotes about our presidents private lives to be brought into the open by the friendly, and never biased media: "This president smoked pot!" Yawn! "This president got a blow job!" Yawn! "This president had a rubber fist shoved up his ass and ran all the way home!" ALRIGHT.. now where talking.